Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
