i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
