The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
