Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
