dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize