you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
