I need help removing her.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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