haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
this hospital has no fireball
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
