i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
