Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
