Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
