yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
