Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
