hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
