i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
