this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
