I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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