I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
