I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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