did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
