Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
