i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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