Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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