In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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