What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
