did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
