Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
