piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
sarcasm needs its own font
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize