SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
