Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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