BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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