i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
