you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
