God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
