i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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