.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
