So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm too high and old for this...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
