Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
