i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
