Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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