Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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