Do you still have your period?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
