I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
