If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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