escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
