I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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