yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
