How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
