so explain again why im purple
no
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
