i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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