guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
