just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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