don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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