he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
