i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize