Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
