I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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