The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize