ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
