let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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