I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
