no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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