you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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