I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
