Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
