threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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