dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize